A married man farts all the time.
And in one of his particulary explosive bouts of wind, his long suffering wife says the following. “One day you’ll fart so hard you’ll fart your guts right out!!”
With that, he just pays his wife’s words with no heed and goes about his business.
A few days later, after the previous night having far too many beers and a super hot curry with his friends, he puts his keys in the door and comes in after work. His wife is in the kitchen preparing dinner, tonight it’s chicken.
He hangs up his coat and farts super loud and stinky… his wife is hating him just about as much as you can expect after 20 years of it!
BUT…His wife says nothing… he then declares “I’m going upstairs for a shower”.
So, when she knows he’s in the shower, she stealthily creeps upstairs and puts the chicken giblets into the back of his trousers that he has folded on the chair in the bedroom.
She creeps back downstairs and waits…
About 10 minutes later she hears a loud shriek!!!
She shouts upstairs, “What’s wrong??!!”, after a minute of silence, he shouts “Nothing dear”…
About 5 minutes later, he comes down, looking as pale as a sheet, with beads of sweat on his forehead…
He says “You were right you know, I actually farted my guts RIGHT out!! But with a bit of effort, some vaseline and a shoe horn I got the bastards back in again!!”